my friend charles put lights on his fucking palm tree and he didn’t realize it looks like a cock jizzing
Got my dog a new tag…he is not amused.
… but we are XD
OH MY GOSH hahahahahhaha
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
just got a motherfucking jury duty summons in the mail
i’m gonna panic
and then my family is going to make fun of me for panicking
and it’s just going to be a giant clusterfuck
I’M NOT EVEN A REAL ADULT
You are now motherfucka
When healthcare.gov gets too much web traffic and crashes, people call it a disaster. When Walmart’s website crashes, people call it a success.
Mind your own fucking business.
how did he know?
i just wanted to belong
“Ugh, why did I put in my contacts and then put on my glasses? I can’t read this post at all … Okay, that’s bett-WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
Cheers, fellow sluts
Sticks and stones.
what the fuck, you sluts didn’t invite me to the party?
fuck u got me
it’s the truth guys idk what the fuck i’m reading
Men of Tumblr.. I love you.
Almost 330k notes!
How convenient that JK Rowling made Tom Marvolo Riddle equal I Am Lord Voldemort when it’s obviously supposed to be Mr. Tom, A Dildo Lover.